It’s official, I’m done with Facebook. The final straw? An old college friend posted a big Pro-Life rant on a Planned Parenthood site and it randomly showed up in my news feed (thank you Facebook, really wanted to see that today). She is vehemently opposed to abortion in any circumstance (and of course, she’s pregnant right now) and she’s saying incredibly rude things to other people who feel differently about the topic.
I’m labeled a ‘habitual aborter‘ on every medical chart.
I used to participate in Pro-Life rallies when I was at my Christian college. I wasn’t ever sure in those days that this was truly how I felt, but it was the ‘Christian’ thing to do. I was supposed to be Pro-Life, so I didn’t want to go against the flow or ostracize myself in my Christian community. I made signs that had horrible messages such as ‘Abortion stops a beating heart’ or ‘Abortion is murder’ and had proofread pamphlets to print with horrible images. I thankfully never personally went to picket a clinic, as I am certain I would look back and really regret that.
Then after college, I got out into the world and made some non-Christian friends, some feminist friends, and people who are just generally more open to other ideas. I started to question things for myself and it hit me that I sincerely believed that women should be able to choose what happens in their body and if they do not want to continue a pregnancy, they shouldn’t have to.
I personally would not ever be able to have an abortion, I felt that way before I started TTC and I obviously still feel that way. I hoped that other women wouldn’t use abortions as birth control, nor did I like them being done late in pregnancies, but I supported their right to choose. I also think women should also be educated about what’s happening and they should never feel forced into making that decision.
When I had my first miscarriage I was shocked to see ‘spontaneous abortion’ as the reason for my D&C. I was appalled- I felt like I was being labeled as someone who was voluntarily terminating this pregnancy that was very, very much wanted. This was not voluntary. I did not choose this for myself. I was talking to another infertile mom who had a miscarriage and she told me that it had changed her from Pro-Choice to Pro-Life. Now that she realized how tough it could be to come out the other end with a healthy baby, she wanted all those women to carry the baby and put it up for adoption.
I’m still Pro-Choice despite having lost 6 babies. It drives me crazy when I see some of the extremely Christian Pro-Life arguments about God creating life and abortion stopping a beating heart. I want to tell them that if they believe in God, then they should acknowledge that he stopped my last baby’s beating heart, not abortion. How can they simultaneously acknowledge that God creates life if he doesn’t also cause the death of babies with miscarriage? Why is he ‘good’ and ‘blameless’ when he chooses to stop a baby’s heartbeat but the poor women who choose to do so become ‘murderers’?
So maybe I’m more Pro-Choice than ever. I’d like to choose that my (future) babies can live.