Back to our regularly scheduled programming

What a week.

I had a nice vacation with my Sweetie.  I also remembered that traveling with a toddler is not very predictable, so I obviously did not get a chance to update over here. 

We finally heard that our agency has a surrogate candidate for us to talk to.  Hopefully we can get that scheduled ASAP (I would have done it today if possible!  Yes, I’m just slightly anxious and eager to keep the ball rolling).  Even a bigger hope is that she will like us.  I can’t even devote enough time here to the anxiety I have about talking to a surrogate.  It’s like internet dating on steroids.  I may have a slightly skewed vision of the current industry of surrogacy, but it seems to me that there are many, many Intended Parents (IP) to every Gestational Surrogate (GS) out there. We are definitely not the ones in demand, so I feel very helpless in this all. I guess I don’t really know how a surrogate chooses who to carry for, and it is just beyond my capability to put myself in her shoes (given my history of being a failure at pregnancy). 

Provera started working, finally.  So, if we want to, the clock is ticking on me deciding about doing a FET.  I say ‘me’ because my dear husband thinks this is just a non-question.  Of course we should try again in my body that has killed multiple normal babies.  Yep, makes total sense. (end sarcasm)  Yes,  we fortunately have a handful of embryos to work with, but by no means do we have unlimited options.  I refuse to do another complete IVF retrieval cycle, so once our frozen embabies are gone, we are done. 

So I need fingers crossed that we make some progress.  Any progress.  Towards a healthy, living baby at the end of 9 months. 


4 thoughts on “Back to our regularly scheduled programming

  1. Does the doctor have any new suggestions for this FET? Has anything changed since the last one? It seems hard to have faith a process will work unless something new is added. I don’t know the whole story though so pardon my ignorance!

    The only thing I’ve done that’s actually worked with the gym is to make it part of my routine. When I get dressed on M,W,F I put on my gym clothes, go to work, get kiddo ready for school and drop him off, and then go STRAIGHT to the gym. It’s hard to think up excuses when I’m in the car, five minutes away, and WEARING workout clothes. It helps that I do the 30-minute routine at Planet Fitness, so I know I won’t be there for hours and hours. It’s not as daunting as when I used to do the elliptical and then different machines, and was there almost two hours.

    Anyway, hope that helps. And good luck with whatever your decision is. I believe that whatever you decide, it was the right decision for that moment and there’s no second-guessing. You just have to trust yourself.

    • Hi Anne, my RE does not have anything new to try, he is very conservative (although they have great IVF success rates) and doesn’t believe in trying anything out-of-the box. And with Recurrent Pregnancy Loss, there is a big ‘unknown’ out there as to what may be causing the losses and how to treat them. Unfortunately, despite many tests, nothing has ever really pointed to the cause of my losses, especially not a 16w loss. My OB is willing to put me on lovenox (even though I have no clear clotting issues) and potentially some other therapies.

      The exercise thing is tough because I’ve been told to not be working out during the IVF process (which I’ve done twice now) and one expert in RPL told me not to exercise during the first trimester due to it causing extra inflammation in our body. I don’t know if it’s true or not, and I definitely wasn’t exercising last pregnancy and it still ended at 16w. So who knows?! /MMB

  2. I am excited to hear that things are moving forward. I face a similar dilemma if something goes wrong this time, too. I’m done with retrievals thankyouverymuch, and we have four embabies on ice. It would be very difficult to transfer any of them to me if I fail to carry any of the four(!) pregnancies I’ve now experienced to term. At the same time, it takes a LOT of courage, strength, and wisdom to let go enough to trust someone else to carry something so precious as well. It’s a tough decision, and I wish you the very best whichever way you ultimately decide to go.
    Giant hugs,

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