I’m just not that into your pregnancy

Have you seen that movie ‘He’s just not that into you’?  I think we need a pregnancy version of that movie. I’m so very tired of feeling like the world needs to revolve around pregnancy and pregnant women.

Now a disclaimer- I totally realize this post is ironic because a majority of my recent posts are pregnancy updates. I’m not talking about blogs- I think blogs are a persons unique sacred place where they can talk about themselves and whatever else they want to without apology. It’s their right and others can choose to read or not, whatever they can handle at the moment.

So anyway…has anyone else noticed how many (most?) pregnant women seem to be incapable of talking about anything other than their pregnancy?  I have Sweetie in a park district class that has 8 other 2-3 year olds. Of course, 3 of the other moms are visibly pregnant- all due Jan to late Feb.

So this class is 6 weeks long and there’s not a ton of time to really get to know the other moms, so we spend a fair bit of time making small talk. And of course since three of them are pregnant that means all the small talk HAS to be about pregnancy. Gag.

So I tried an experiment this last class and tried to suggest lines of conversation that had nothing to do with pregnancy. Here’s how it went:

Me: So have you had a chance to do any Christmas baking?  Does [insert toddlers name] have fun helping out in the kitchen?

Her: No, this belly of mine gets in the way too much to do anything in the kitchen anymore. I guess I’ll just have to wait till this baby arrives and then we’ll bake some valentines cookies. Although then I’ll have a newborn to carry around!  I have an old carrier I used with [toddler], do you know if the ergo works with a newborn?  Maybe I should put a different one on my registry?  I know you aren’t supposed to register for the second baby but I just couldn’t help myself.

Take 2:

Me: So are you traveling anywhere for Christmas or do you have family coming for the holiday?

Her: No, my mom is coming in January so she’s here when the baby comes. She’s going to drive me crazy because [toddler] didn’t come till 41w4d and had to be induced and I’m certain this one will be late too so she’ll be here forever. My OB said we could talk about inducing at 40 weeks this time but I don’t know if I want to be induced again. I kind of want to try to have this one naturally and I’ve heard that’s harder when you are induced. Although I kind of liked my epidural with [toddler].  Were you induced with Sweetie?

Take 3

Me:  So are you done with all your Christmas shopping?

Her: Ugh, shopping is such a pain when you’re 7 months pregnant with a toddler.  I just can’t get motivated. Although I did find myself some more great maternity clothes at Motherhood that I just had to buy. Heck, I deserve some Christmas presents for myself right?  I’m SO much bigger than I was with [toddler], I’m really hoping I just stop growing now.

Yes- my attempts to talk to three different pregnant women about anything other than pregnancy were massive fails. Is it just me?  Were my questions just bad?  I guess I can go back to just being quiet and ignoring all the pregnancy chatter and pay attention to Sweetie.

I do find myself looking at some of the other women in the room who aren’t pregnant. Are they like me in the early stages of pregnancy and that’s how they tolerate this constant discussion about pregnancy?  I wonder if any of them have also had issues with infertility?  Does this constant discussion about pregnancy irritate them or hurt them as well?

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3 thoughts on “I’m just not that into your pregnancy

  1. I remember this phenomenon with my sisters first pregnancy. She turned EVERYTHING into “I’m pregnant, so….” Like I could possibly forget (this was years before I ever got pregnant myself). I’ve tried hard not to do that now that I’m on this side, but it is AMAZING how often others want to talk pregnancy. I’m seeing now just how careful people were not to bring it up in front of my during our struggles. But being pregnant doesn’t erase my past, and I’m no more comfortable with all the pregnancy talk than I was before. I know it’s hard, but we all have lives outside our unborn babies. It may be on MY mind 24/7, but I don’t need to impose that on others. Sending hugs.

  2. Yes, this is so very true! I cannot bear to be around pregnant women at all so I try to avoid all contact. It doesn’t always work though. One time last summer, I was at a party and couldn’t stand listening to pregnancy talk and I blurted out “I just failed my 4th round of IVF so can we talk about something else?” That changed the convo pretty quickly…

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