I had a good NT scan this week. Of course, the nasty voice in my head just reminds me that Abby’s NT scan was perfect as well. But I can only take what I know at the moment about this pregnancy and there are two kicking active little guys in there.
Yep, I did say guys. The tech is almost certain that we are having two boys. Crazy. I just wanted my little girl. Them I just wanted to be done with pregnancy. And now I’m carrying two little boys. I can’t help but be a little disappointed- I think I mentioned it before (and felt very guilty for admitting it) but I was really hoping for one girl. Not necessarily just to replace Abby- I know it doesn’t work that way. I just love the mother/daughter bond and really wanted that one more time. And the other really big factor is that I’m certain these babies (IF we make it that far) will have some NICU time and I know girls do better than boys in the NICU statistically. I hoped that might give me a little edge. Goodness knows I need one.
It’s been a scary week, coming off several of the crazy medications we tried with this pregnancy: bye Prednisone and neupogen. Definitely won’t miss them, but it’s scary to do at 12/13 weeks when your last loss was at 16 weeks. Supposedly the damage had been done in the first trimester and thate why (one doctor thinks) I lost Abby. Hopefully these drugs work miracles and I’m giving these little guys the best I can give. I just keep pleading with the universe/god/anyone tht I please get to keep these babies. I cannot handle losing two more babies.